My Bad Days Don't Define Me

My personality test results tell me that I’m social, energizing, and inspirational. No, I’m not that I think instantly. Then the next phrase clicks: When you are at your best. What a relief! When I’m at my best, this is what I am. When I’m feeling good, and at my highest point, I am full of energy. I love to be with people, connecting. Laughing and having a good time or talking about the things that actually matter. I am happy to do my mom stuff, hobbies, and just DO things. Be active.

When I am at my low, that is definitely not the case. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I don’t want to see anybody, let alone talk to anyone. Even the smallest chore like changing a diaper or feeding the kids breakfast feels like a mountainous task. These low points make up a part of me, and it’s easy to let them define how I am. That yes, I like to be social and sometimes I have great amounts of energy, but how I actually am is in these low moments. That is the real me.

But why does it have to be that way? Why can’t the true me be the bubbly, energetic and laughing version, who hits low points sometimes? (Just like everyone else does. I don’t have the trademark for them.) Why do I let the low times define who I am and drag down my sense of self worth?

They don’t get to define me. All of my days, moods, and happenings make who I am. My energetic days and the days where I just want to be in sweet sleeping oblivion. My happy moods and my angry moods. Phases where I organize things to do with friends and phases where I want to be by myself. I don’t have to let my bad days tell me who I am. I am all of it.

My bad days don’t get to define me.