It Starts With Your Thoughts

Motherhood just is. It’s a circumstance, a fact. I am a mom. I have five kids. I birthed these children.

It’s what I think about motherhood that makes it something. I can choose to think it’s hard or easy. Fun or boring. Happy or depressing. I can see it as an adventure, or something that keeps me from adventure. It’s not always easy to choose how you think about something, but it is a choice.

When I think thoughts like being a mom is hard, boring, or depressing, that’s what my experience of motherhood becomes. My brain is looking for all the ways to make those thoughts true. Have you ever noticed that when you are tired of your kids not listening to you, that’s when they really don’t listen to you? And the patience that is already so thin to begin with, gets even thinner? Whereas when you are coming from a place of love and compassion, you are able to respond to disobedience more calmly.

Our thoughts about a situation creates our emotions, our emotions create our actions, and our actions create our results.

It all starts with your thoughts. Many people will say Think positive! And it’s true, do think positive thoughts. But you need to believe those positive thoughts, or they won’t be doing anything for you. You can’t go from My life is too hard to I love my life! In one step. Find the in between thoughts that are true for you, such as I want to love my life, I am focusing on the things that I enjoy about my life, or I will find one thing today that I love.

Now I’m also not saying that we should be positive all the time; life is 50/50. Half of the time we will be feeling something good and the other half will be something not so good, that’s just how it is. But to become aware of the results that our thoughts are creating in our life is a huge step forward. Recognizing when we are being more negative than positive, and choosing to not let the negativity overrule your days.

I want you to try something today – it might sound crazy to you if you’ve never heard of doing thought work before. Let me tell you though, it works! Take five minutes to try this exercise and see if it does anything for you. WRITE IT DOWN. Thinking about it helps too, but actually physically writing it down on paper and seeing it is much better. I promise.

1.       Pick one area of your life that feels hard right now. (example: Bedtime)

2.       Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and write down one thought that you think about it. (ex: I have to repeat myself a million times before the kids brush their teeth)

3.       What emotion does this thought cause you to feel? (ex: Frustrated)

4.       How do you act because of this emotion? (ex: Impatient with the kids)

5.       And what is the result of this action? (ex: Nobody is happy at bedtime)

Notice how your original thought creates the result that you get. Want a different result? Find a new thought to think about the situation. In my example, I could change my thought to “I will brush my teeth at the same time as them, so I don’t have to repeat myself.” This thought causes me to be present with the kids, in the bathroom together brushing our teeth. Not trying to get all the other things done at the same time and expecting them to brush their teeth and get ready for bed by themselves. Which brings a much better result of being present with my kids.

I’m telling you: becoming aware of our thoughts can change how we view our lives and how we spend our days.