I'm Still Me

I started a massive decluttering project, which forced me to go through old papers, pictures, letters, and mementos. Looking at pictures from my time in Finland, those high school years, the months I lived with girlfriends before getting married… the sense of nostalgia overwhelmed me.

Man, was that fun! All of the exploring, having little responsibility in life, beginning to find myself just as me. I knew how to have be adventurous and find a good time. I didn’t have much tying me down – I was footloose and fancy free. How different my life was then. I had a job or school that I worked around and I dreamt of the days that I could stay home with my kids and do whatever I wanted. (That’s what moms do, right?) My free time was my own though, and I could do what I wanted with it. It almost feels like that was a separate person from who I am now; that teenage girl who was up for spontaneous trips to Canada to drive up a mountain and go for pizza. I think I spontaneously took a bath last Friday night, does that count?

My life looks different now, but that thread runs through me still. The core of me, underneath the responsibility of motherhood and adulthood, is still the same. I still enjoy the spontaneous moments when they do happen, and I still know how to laugh until I cry. It’s good that I have learned to be more responsible and raise my family. But it’s also good to remember who I am and to bring that sense of fun and adventure into my days as a mother.