One Of The Best Gifts

Will I ever feel just happy when I see the double lines on that stick? Will my feelings ever be uncomplicated? Of course I’m happy that there is another human growing inside me again, but there’s so much more to it than that.

There’s the worry of will it all go okay? Will I miscarry this one too? There’s the worry of the adjustments that will come with another little one. Everything that is going on in my life right now, plus a newborn too? How will I do it?

There are the lifestyle changes that will take place because of pregnancy; eating better, being more active, sleeping more. The general routine of the days will slow down a notch. It’s a change for the better, but it’s still change.

Speaking of change, there’s all the changes within me that I start to prepare for. The few weeks of nausea that are to come. The bigger every part of me – you name it, it’s getting bigger. Then there’s the hormonal roller coaster that I’m about to jump on and have the ride of my life. My poor husband.

The nine months until due date feels so far away, a goal that I won’t reach for a very long time. But then I think about that little fresh newborn baby, so small, soft and warm against my chest. All of the worry, change and crazy days will be worth it.

Because that new life, held so close to my heart, is one of the best gifts we can get.