This Is Not A Burden

Confession: Sometimes I resent my husband his freedom. He comes home from work and eats supper while reading his book. We’ve had discussions (read: arguments) about this particular topic many times, but he tells me this is his nothing box time. And I know he needs his nothing box, so that is that.

Then he’s done eating and after profusely thanking me for the delicious supper, he sits down on the couch. The kids will usually sit with him for a while, maybe they will read a story together. Then he may or may not fall asleep. Chances are good that if he falls asleep he won’t come up to bed until the wee hours of the morning, because when he’s out, he is out.

On this evening, he falls asleep. The alarm goes off at 8 pm because today is Friday, and that means hockey night for him. He gathers up his stuff and off he goes, forgetting that he told me he would put the kids to bed tonight. Or maybe he never even agreed to doing that, come to think of it- did I even mention it?

So here I am, just another evening with me and my four kids. Diapers to be changed, teeth to be brushed, blankets to be tucked around little bodies all snug and cozy. Forget the pajamas tonight, I want as few steps as possible before I have a quiet house. There are fights and disagreements to be settled, scraped knees to be tended to, and many reminders to listen to what mom says. This evening routine. I know it won’t be like this forever, but this phase stretches out infinitely ahead of me.

Sometimes I get tired of being the one to always tuck them in. I wouldn’t mind to sometimes be the one heading out the door before the bedtime chaos begins. Or to be the one that falls asleep on the couch and not wake up until the house is silent; in full confidence that the kids and house will be taken care of. It would be nice to take a break from the daily routines so that I don’t get so tired of this burden.

Because it’s not really a burden, is it? It’s a privilege to tuck your kids in safely in their beds each night. To know that they are safe and within arms reach. The only sneaking out that might occur at this stage is to grab a cup of water.

This is a good reminder for me as I start the daunting task of bedtime tonight. I get to tuck my four little loves safely in their beds. I let their “Good night, mommy. I love you!” fill my heart. No, this is surely not a burden.