With Love

The room is dark, light only coming from the kitchen. I wish I could say I set the mood, that I chose to be in this darkness with a few candles burning for aura. In truth, I didn’t even think of it. Our month old baby is contentedly suckling and kids are quiet upstairs at last. If they are sleeping though, is another question altogether.

My mind strays to all the things I didn’t get done today- dishes are piled high, crumbs all over the floor. My mind also strays to the things I did today that I wish I could erase- getting upset at my toddler for being whiny, my others for playing too loud. I wonder about tomorrow, or next week, and how will we ever get this four kids thing down pat?

I hear a creaking of floor boards from above, then the creaking of the steps. A sure sign that it’s not a ghost coming down to pay a friendly visit. Guin cautiously pokes her head around the corner- “Mom, can I get a drink of water?” She quickly drinks a cup of water and starts up the stairs again. When she reaches the second step though, she turns back around and runs over to me. She throws her arms around my neck and gives a tight squeeze. A quick kiss on my cheek, accompanied by an “I love you” and back to bed she goes.

I lift baby to my chest to burp, and think about that small act of love. Maybe she recognized my tiredness? Maybe she simply wanted me to know how she felt about me. Either way, that was a perfect example of what will happen tomorrow, and next week, and next year. This is how we will get this mom thing down pat.

With love.