Growing Up and Growing Old Together

We were so young. Those rounder faces, the naïve love that is shining out of our eyes. Babies. We figured we knew what life was all about and what we needed. I love to look back at these pictures and remember those feelings – of excitement, joy, pure love.

I used to feel cheated – that nobody told me what married life would be like. I felt wronged that no one had taken off my rose colored glasses and told me that it wouldn’t be easy.

It wasn’t for them to teach me. This was something that I had to go through myself. It was something that I had to learn on the way.

But also, I now treasure how trusting I was. How I so blindly believed that God was leading me and us in the direction that He wanted us. And look at where that has brought us today – how could I go wrong in simply choosing to trust? In believing that whichever way my life may go, He is guiding us and knows what is best.

Nic and I will grow old together, but we also grew up together. Seven years of learning together about ourselves and what we want our life to look like. Seven years of learning new pieces of each other and ourselves. No matter what we go through in life, whatever issue may come in between us, I am strong in our love. I know that we can get through anything, because we are in this together.

Christmas In My Heart

Christmas has taken a different meaning since becoming a mom. I used to wait and wait and wait for the day that Santa would finally come, waking up as early as possible to climb down the stairs and see the goodies that were under the tree. I remember trying to stay up and spy on Santa, but those heavy eyelids would close before he came. The excitement, anticipation, and joy!

Christmas morning still brings the excitement of unopened gifts waiting under the Christmas tree. But more than that, it’s watching the sparkle and wonder in my children’s eyes as they see what Santa brought them the night before. Their joy is so innocent; their belief in that magical man with a red suit and white beard is so true. It’s contagious – I can’t help but feel the magic myself.

It also makes me think of Mary, of the birth of Jesus. She was in a stable, delivering her child. No luxury, no doctors, nothing. And yet when I picture her holding her precious baby boy, her face shines with peace and joy. This is the true meaning of Christmas. A celebration of Jesus’ birth. Peace. Love. Joy. Contentment with what is. It’s being together with family and those you hold dear. It’s not about the biggest present under the tree, or an overstuffed stocking. It’s not the things that bring happiness, it’s the giving of them. Giving from a place of love.

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, it can be hard for me to get into the spirit. There are always so many daily to dos, plus Christmas preparations on top of that, that it’s easy to get lost in the busyness. I’m preparing all the things and I forget to stop and think about what I’m actually preparing for.

I was sitting in the church bench a few weeks ago, listening to the little kindergarten kids sing Away In A Manger. Tears came to my eyes at the little voices singing so beautifully. A little off tune, not necessarily in time with the organ, but they were singing with their whole hearts. The sound was so true. That was a moment when I truly felt Christmas in my heart. It’s a feeling of peace, of contentment. Of love.

May you find Christmas in your heart this season.

Merry Christmas!