Folding Laundry Was The Dream

Growing up, I knew I would be a mom someday. I wanted my very own husband and my very own kids. When I babysat, I would dream about the day that I could do all of these things in my own house. One of my favorite things to do after I put the kids to sleep was to wash, dry and fold their laundry. I knew how happy this made the mom, but it was so fun to pretend that I was folding my own family’s clothes instead. My husband’s shirts next to cute tiny dresses and overalls. My super stylish tops next to baby blankets. I couldn’t wait for that moment!

Now that moment is here. I could be washing, drying and folding clothes all day long if I wanted to. But somewhere along the line, the dreaminess of that task faded. Now the stacks of clothes, both clean and dirty, sit in my laundry room. I ignore them until my husband wakes up for work and asks where some clean socks are, because he doesn’t have any in his drawer. I don’t sit there and lovingly fold every single piece of clothing like I used to. The only exception to this is when a new baby is due and I’m washing the newborn clothes- those are always exclaimed over, so tiny and so cute, with the incredulity that a fresh little body will soon be fitting into them! The everyday laundry however, is another story.

This is how many aspects of motherhood has been for me. I had my ideas of how I would be as a mom – that I would be happy, that I would read to them, that I would play games and snuggle all day long. How great I thought it would be to not have to go anywhere or do anything; just to be a mom. And not just a mom – to be a mom.

I think that these ideals that we have about how we should be are important. It’s important to look at them and use them as guidelines for how to show up in our days; how we want to be in order to feel like we’ve got this. But I also think it’s important to let some of them go. You thought that you would enjoy playing with your toddler more? It’s okay to admit that it gets kind of boring after five minutes; to do what you can right now, and to know that when she grows up there will be more to do together. Let go of the ones that hurt you, the ones that make you feel like you’re not a good enough mom.

Instead, focus on your strengths. The ways that you bring you to your children’s days. You may not be the mom that you thought you would or should be, but always remember this:

You are exactly the mom for your children, just as your children are exactly for you.