And I Won’t Give Up

You guys.

Do you follow me on Instagram? If not, then you haven't been seeing my posts about postpartum depression.

All of the feelings that have been coming up as I post these? As I really go back and remember what it was like going through it? It has strengthened my reason for why I started this business in the first place. It has reminded me of my purpose.

As I have started this business and begun to let go of those patterns of doubt, fear, and worry - I'm not gonna lie. It's been more challenging than I thought. I have wondered if this is the right choice, I have wondered if it even matters. I have thought about how much easier it would actually be to just go back to my Candy Crush, chocolate eating days.

But as I have written specifically for those moms who are struggling with postpartum depression, those moms that are in the thick of it? It has reminded me why I'm doing this. Why I'm putting myself out there, why I'm going live even when I'm scared. Why I'm choosing to keep this on my plate when it might seem like I have enough on the go even without having a business.

I have dreams. Martin Luther King Jr worthy dreams. I have dreams where every single mom to be would know what to expect postpartum. Nothing can truly prepare you for your first experience of motherhood, and I think there is beauty in that too - growing, learning, experiencing all of the unknown. But what I dream of every mom knowing is what postpartum depression looks like. What postpartum anxiety looks like. How these thoughts are not them. I want every mom to see those thoughts for what they are, to know that they might show up, and to be prepared for them. To know what to do next. Who to reach out to.

Because too many moms are experiencing these things, and instead of sharing them we hide them. We shame ourselves. We think we are less than. We worry what others would think if they truly knew. We compare ourselves to others, sure that they are better moms than we are. We let this take over our lives. And it's time to stop.

When we face the depression, when we name it, the grip that it has on us loosens. We are able to see it for what it is. We are able to take the next step that we need to.

These posts on postpartum have also reminded me of how far I've come. You guys, I'm not kidding when I say that my life has changed. There was a day when I thought that the life I'm living now would never be mine. I thought it was impossible for me to be a happy mom. I truly believed that my kids would be better off without me. Think about that!

What if I had never started this work? What if I hadn't realized that my thoughts are optional, that there was hope, that I could do something about it? What would our lives be like right now? How much my kids would have missed out on, by not having me as their mom, as a healthy and loving mom? How much I would've missed out on. My heart aches to even think of this.

So yes, you will be hearing from me. And I hope you are sharing this with your friends. Not because I need more followers or more clients - I don't. What I need is for you to see your worth. I need you to see your value. I need you to see what you are missing out on by continuing to live how you are. I need you to see that you are capable of healing and that it's so much better than you can even imagine. And I need every single mom to hear this message.

Hear me on this. The life that feels impossible right now? It will be yours one day. But we will take it one step at a time.