Confessions Of A Candy Crush Addict

I have a confession to make. No judging allowed.

I am a candy crush addict.

Seriously.

Let me tell you the story of how that came to be. A couple of my friends were discussing how addicting this game was and I laughed at them – I would never get addicted to a game.

But then I started playing it. And I couldn’t stop. And then I got the new iPhone 4 so that I could play it when I was at home, not only on my in-law’s computer. I played candy crush while I drank my morning coffee. When I sat down to feed Guin. During my quiet hours while Guin napped. I waited anxiously for a new life when I had run out of lives – until I found the hack for getting more lives whenever I wanted and I never had to wait again.

Candy crush became my safe zone. I didn’t have to think about what I was feeling or why I was feeling that way. I could just focus on the game I was playing and block out every part of my life that I didn’t have control over. I was numbing the void that I felt with friendships and connections from moving to a new place and entering motherhood. Nothing really mattered except for passing the next level.

The thrill that I felt when I passed a particularly hard level; I accomplished something in my life! I can do this!

The number of days that I spent only accomplishing a few levels on candy crush are too many to count.

We all have our own numbing mechanisms, some that are more harmful than others. Something that we automatically turn to in order to avoid an emotion.  

Although those days of doing absolutely nothing else are past for me, I still find myself reaching for my phone to get on candy crush when I feel an emotion that is too much to handle. When I want the numbing effect of not having to think about life or anything. I’ve thought of taking candy crush off my phone, but I decided it’s an okay buffering habit as long as I’m aware of how often I’m using it.

Plus, think of all those levels and the hard work I would lose!

Haha.