Keeping Thoughts To Myself

She came over for lunch on a beautiful summer day. Her three little boys came tumbling out of the van, ready to have a good time. As she walked towards me, I could see that she was wearing a new sweater. It looked so good on her, but I didn’t tell her that.

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We were sitting in the grass at the park, watching our kids play in the splash pad. A soft breeze was blowing, playing with the ends of her blonde hair to catch the sunlight. Her hands rested on top of her rounded belly. A picture perfect pregnant woman. Again, I kept my thoughts to myself.

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Her three-year-old was throwing a fit over something (justified in his mind, I’m sure). She got down to his level and talked him through it rather than telling him to quit acting like that. She handled it so well and I was amazed at her patience. I didn’t say anything.

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Why didn’t I say what I was thinking? Why is it so hard to compliment another mom? It’s too easy to take something good about another person and use it as a measuring stick for why I’m not good enough.

 That sweater looks so good on her postpartum body… why can’t my body look that good?

She looks like such a gorgeous soon-to-be momma... why do I look like a swollen cow when I’m almost due?

Why can’t I handle my toddler tantrums as well as her?

Instead of internalizing those thoughts and using them as a yardstick to measure my mom-competence, I need to let them out. To not let it be about me- it’s about them.

Because as moms, we all feel like we aren’t good enough. There are always so many ways that we could be a better mom, areas that we are lacking in. It’s so encouraging to have someone compliment you on something that you are actually doing right. Something that you might not even realize is going right. Instead of comparing our weaknesses against others strengths, just let it be that. And tell them.