A Future Thanksgiving

I’m sitting on a big, soft armchair with a fresh little newborn snuggled tight against my chest. I close my eyes and breathe in the smell that nothing in this world can top. There is laughter all around me as Nic tells another one of his hunting stories- at this point, I can probably tell half of them better than he can for how many times I’ve heard them. His eyes are lit up, his hands going this way and that as he approaches the punch line. Yells and laughter come floating up the staircase as all the grandkids are busily destroying the playroom downstairs. My daughters -by birth and through marriage- are finishing the last touches on our Thanksgiving dinner. I look at each and every face and I thank God for everything that He has given me. I snuggle the little bundle closer to me and let the tears fall softly down my face. It is joy that I feel, with some wonder at how I made it- clearly not on my own. My heart is full.

I can so clearly see this vision. I know that in forty years I want this to be my reality. A full house with my children and grandchildren- and maybe even throw in a few great grandchildren to the mix?! I want so many that it’s hard to keep track of them. I want a little birthday book where I write down each new addition. This life feels like the epitome of blessed.

But how do I get from here to there? I have four now and my hands already feel so full. To think of adding ten more to this feels absolutely insane. How do I translate that dream of a thanksgiving dinner far in the future to my current thanksgiving situation? Accepting another pregnancy when the baby isn’t even a year old yet isn’t always easy to do. I easily get caught up in the everyday work, feeling tired and overwhelmed. And to add a newborn on top of everything?

I remember wondering each time another baby was born, “How will I manage?” Somehow, we always do. I can trust that God will give me the strength to accept and raise these children that He gives me. Slowly but surely, that new addition wiggles it’s way into the daily routine. Then before you know it, you don’t even remember what life was like before they were born. It’s as though they were always a part of the family; you can’t imagine them not being there.

So as I set the table after a long day of food prep, I keep my mind on that Thanksgiving dinner in the future. I know that I will be thankful that I stuck it through, that I stayed the course. There are hard and tiring days, but that clear picture reinforces why I keep going.