Slow It Down

Belief is your overarching how, the part that will ultimately get you there because you never give up.

But what do you do in those moments when you don’t believe that it’s possible?

What do you do in those moments when you react exactly how you always do, even though you told yourself this time would be different?

The answer is creating awareness. Knowing what the problem is, and why it’s here. Knowing what the solution is, and implementing it.

But how do I create awareness?

Awareness isn’t something that just thumps you over the head one day – suddenly you have awareness and you’re enlightened. I like to explain it as having three levels of awareness.

First, you become aware that there is a problem. For example, let’s say that you always make things your husband says mean something about you – which always leads to a fight. You’re able to think through the scenario logically afterwards, and see why it went how it did.

Next comes awareness during. You’re in the conversation, watching yourself respond in the exact same way that you always do, but aren’t able to redirect in the moment. Afterwards, you sit down and really break it down. Why did I think this when he said that? Where is this coming from? You’re able to separate yourself from the situation, and view it with curiosity.

The third stage is the ability to redirect during. He says something, and you notice your brain go to its habitual place. You acknowledge it, and tell your brain “I hear you, but this is where we’re going instead.” You intentionally choose a new path, one that creates a different outcome.

It isn’t a linear first you’re in stage one, then stage two, then stage three. It’s a shifting forward and backward – sometimes you get it, and sometimes you don’t.

It’s having compassion for yourself when you don’t show up how you want to.

How many times have you given up, because you didn’t get it “right”?

How many times have you told yourself that you’ll never get it – that it’s just who you are?

None of that is true. Everything is changeable, if you follow these steps.

1.       Believe you will get there.

2.       Try.

3.       Fail.

4.       Evaluate.

5.       Try again.

All the way until you get where you want to be.

You’ve got this.

This is the work that I do with my clients. We spend one hour each week focused solely on the area of their life that is a problem for them. They have committed to making the change by signing up to work with me (belief), and then each session we evaluate what’s working and what isn’t. In between calls, they are trying and failing and succeeding. This is how change is created. When you’re ready for this in your life, simply email me and I’ll send you the details.