It's An Ice Cream Date

The June sun is so bright in the sky. Hot on my forearm as I head north on the highway. The grass is bright green, the rolling hills meeting the horizon out in the distance. It’s so pretty that it almost takes my breath away. We are headed in search of some celebratory ice cream. What are we celebrating? Another step forward in my business – the work with me page is finally complete! A beautiful summer day. Being together.

We reach the ice cream shop, and everyone piles out of the van. I see an older couple sitting on the bench outside, counting heads as one after the next appears. It’s a cute old ice cream shop, with bright pink siding and a sign announcing the arrival of butter tarts in the window. Inside is a kid’s dream. The countless options of ice cream flavors – how do you ever just pick one? The rows of fudge, promising a perfectly creamy mouthful.

After we finally choose which is the flavor of the day, we sit outside in the sun with our sprinkle covered cones. I soak in this moment, just as I’m soaking in the sun’s rays. It’s just me and my five kids. Eating ice cream on a summer day. What more could I ask for?

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I have a flash back to several years ago, when Guin was three. I had three kids then, and Gus was only a few months old. It was also a beautiful spring day, not as hot as this one – the wind still had a bite to it. But it was sunny out and I decided it was a good day to have a picnic by the lake. So off we went to get some Chinese take out, and drove to the lake.

As I sat there with my kids and ate, I remember thinking “I’m at the stage where it’s more work than fun to do something like this.” Being adventurous and spontaneous has always been important to me, but at this stage of life it felt hard. I wanted to do fun things with the kids, but it wasn’t as enjoyable for me when we did. I couldn’t just sit in the moment and enjoy, there was food getting spilled, a baby to nurse, a toddler to run after halfway across the park. If we went to a new spot, there was the anxiety of where to park. Of where was the closest bathroom for the newly potty trained three-year-old. These things felt so big in the moment.

If this is you, know that nothing is wrong and it’s okay to feel this way. I’m not going to tell you to just wait, that it will get easier (even though it’s true). It’s not a fun way to live life, by waiting for it to get easier. But more than that, I want you to simply lower your standards. Want to do fun things with your kids? Do something small like going to the park down the road with a packed lunch. Want to enjoy being out with your kids? Go somewhere that you can actually relax and don’t need to be stressed about all the little things. And if lowering your standards looks like just staying at home, be okay with that too.

It’s possible to do fun things in that stage of littles, but also go easy on yourself.

You’re doing amazing.

And also, there will come a day that you enjoy being out with your kids. Just don’t miss out on the days that you have now, waiting for it to come.