That Six Week Mark

“Everything looks good!” my doctor tells me at my 6-week postpartum checkup. “We’ll see you again next year, eh?” He smiles at me and closes the door. Yes, I think. Probably in another year I will be sitting here with another bean growing in my belly. But I have to get through this year first.

I’m 6 weeks postpartum, which means my body is “all healed”. I’m supposed to be “back to normal”. What is normal even? I sure don’t feel normal. My baby is still so small, that soft newborn cry still sounding at night when she’s hungry. She has started giving her first smiles but she makes you work for them, which makes them all the more precious. My body definitely doesn’t feel normal. My boobs are still so huge that half of my shirts don’t fit yet. My belly is still a soft bread dough consistency, sticking out farther than I wish it would. Energy levels are coming back up, but they sure aren’t at normal yet.

I wish at that six-week check, the doctor could wave a magic wand or snap his fingers and ta-da! Everything is back! My body would look how it did before I got pregnant, my hormones would be balanced, my mind would be clear. I would know my baby and my baby would know me. Our rhythm would be set and it would be smooth sailing. The kids would be used to this new addition to our family and wouldn’t be requiring more love and attention from me.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. I have to work through this. I will sign up for that workout class (eventually) to start losing that extra weight; stretching and 10-minute walks with the occasional yoga session will have to do until then. I need to put in the extra effort and love for my three big kids so they know that they are still #1 with me. I have to wake up for night time feedings until she starts sleeping through the night. That means running on less fuel the following day, but that’s okay.

We are working through this together. If I didn’t have to work for it, I wouldn’t appreciate it as much. I know that although this phase is tiring, it also goes so fast. Soon she will be gurgling and cooing, rolling over, laughing and attempting to sit up. So, I’m going to enjoy these slower ways and days and get as much snuggle time as I can. Forget that six-week mark and what is considered normal. This is my new normal.