Those Ambitions In Smithereens

In the quiet moments before the kids wake up, it’s easy to think about how I want to be. The kind of mom I want to be, how I want my day to go. My heart is filled with these dream feelings of the day ahead.

Then the first one comes creaking down the stairs, exclaiming, “Look, Mom! I waked up!” with the others following closely behind. My first minutes of interaction with them are usually aligned with my dreams from those quiet moments. I can greet them with a warm smile and a warm hug, pour them a bowl of cereal and sit them at the table to eat. Everything feels warm and fuzzy, and I smile to myself – proud that today is going to be exactly how I pictured it.

Guaranteed though, at some point during that morning my ambitions will be smothered to smithereens. They are kids after all, and their own persons, not some robot that is at my command. A cereal bowl will be spilt, when the last thing that I wanted to do this morning was mop my kitchen floor. A toy will be fought over, because duh. Someone will have a blowout diaper, and I have to admit that it’s hard to stay happy and joyful in such a crappy (pun intended) situation.

The constant balancing act between how I am and how I want to be. In my mind, I envision a happy, silly and energetic mom, who’s feathers don’t get ruffled easily. In reality, my feathers ruffle more often than I would like and I’m not as fun as I would like to be. I’m quick to react when I get upset.

But it’s okay! I don’t need to be perfect. If another mom were to tell me these things I would immediately tell her exactly that – You are doing an awesome job. Quit being so hard on yourself! We are so quick to judge ourselves hardest.

So today, give yourself a break.

And break yourself a piece of that Kit Kat bar! (Sorry, I couldn’t help it!)