Not Me

I was listening to a podcast the other day where two ladies were discussing some of their worst mother moments. In my head I was pitying them, and I thought “I’m so glad my kids don’t do that.” Then I did a double take, did I really just think that? My kids never do anything that I don’t want them to? If they are all perfect little angels then why am I so tired at the end of the day?

Then I started to notice the same pattern when out with my friends and their kids. “Your toddler still wakes up for a drink at night? Mine has been sleeping through the night since he was three months old. I can’t imagine how you do it!” Or “You need to bring 10 different snacks and 10 different toys so your kids will be entertained on our walk? Mine always sit nicely without needing anything when we go for walks.” “You have to entertain your kids when they’re awake and can never get anything done? I expect my kids to entertain themselves most of the time so that I can get things accomplished during the day.” (Score Me:3 You:0)

It’s not that I think other moms are bad moms, or worse moms than I am. The truth of it is that I actually fear that I’m the worst mom on this planet. I worry that someone will come tell me that I’m not old enough to be a mom, that I don’t do a good enough job, and that I’m not allowed to raise my kids anymore. I worry that I don’t give them enough attention, that I don’t play with them as much as I should, that I don’t do a good enough job showing them that I love them. In order to reassure myself that I’m not a complete fail, I slip into the comparison game.

This mental scorekeeping doesn’t get me anywhere. It doesn’t make me feel like I’m doing a better job, it simply has me constantly comparing myself to others. I might have something more under control than the other mom does, but I guarantee that she has something else more figured out than I do. That doesn’t make either of us better, it just puts us in the same boat. We are both doing our best to figure out this mom thing as we go. And what more could we do than that?