Unseen, Unheard

I know that being a mom is a very important job- loving your kids and raising them correctly. But still, I feel like it’s not enough. A part of me knows that being a good enough mom is all that I need to do, but there’s the other side of me that is looking for something more. Something that is me, that I see results from. Where I can see myself and hear myself.

My days are full of feeding kids, cleaning faces, wiping bums, picking up toys, piles of laundry-clean and waiting to be put away, dirty and ready for washing- both stacked high. These chores are the type that if you do them they aren’t noticed; but if you don’t do them, it’s very clear that they need to be done. I clean up the books and toys, the kids wake up from their naps and the toys are spread all over again. I wipe the table, we eat, and it needs to be wiped again. I change baby’s diaper, she poops, and needs to be changed again. This never-ending cycle of repeating my actions over and over. Maybe this is why I feel unseen- I’m continually doing something that I will have to do again in the near future.

My days are full of “Don’t touch that!” and “Did you hear what I said? Do you remember what I just told you about x, y, and z?” Always reminding my kids how we behave, how we talk, how we act. But five minutes later they are doing the exact same thing. Is it any wonder that I feel unheard?

Your kids don’t give you recognition for all you do because they don’t even realize half of what you do. The people that you are spending your days with don’t know how to appreciate what you do for them (yet!), but they do know how to do one thing very well: they love you. They still love you when you lose your temper cleaning up yet another spill. They still love you when you are trying to teach them about sharing for the umpteenth time. They forgive your faults so automatically and they love with their entire heart.

I also know that they do see and hear me. They pick up on small mannerisms and sayings that I don’t even realize I do. (Some of these I wish they wouldn’t pick up on!) I know that they are learning the important things that I’m trying to teach them too, it just might be a while before I see those results.

Or maybe they are already there, I’m just not looking in the right places.